Tuesday, February 17, 2009

New Week, New 'hole


I said I owed a few. This one was book-marked for me to come back to. This week's asshole is a collective, a veritable bouquet of bung, a cornucopia of cornholio's. Our beloved RTA (I'm going to jail for this one). These are the collection of brainiacs that decide the most inefficient way of getting around Dubai roads. This office is SO inept, it is shocking. By my house, there is a lovely 2 lane road, with a roundabout. Sounds easy enough, but there is daily gridlock, as the road lines are clearly painted on the road, but not the roundabout.....it magically becomes one lane for 30 metres. Really smart. I have some Emaar "yellow #1" at my pad....I'll donate it. Shit, I'll even paint the lines on it if you let me (although I am sure I will go to jail for causing efficiency and ensuring a smooth flow of traffic. As per usual, I digress.
In normal countries (I'm not even qualifying that with the term "western"). If you want to give a neighbour, colleague, friend, stranger a ride, the process is simple. Stop the car, open the door, they sit, you drive, dump them at a mutually agreed upon location. Not bloody here.

You need to have a "car pool permit". That's right, apply for a permit with all the usual BS involved (although I think they skip the anal probe for this one). In true local fashion, the RTA decided to complicate things. First thing we need is a name "Sharekni", which when translated to English means "we're going to jerk you off again" (loosely). It is totally illegal for me to bring my neighbour to work with me, even though he works one floor above. With out a jerk-off permit, we are committing an offence. We have a similarly complex system in Canada, it's called "GAS MONEY" or "you drive next week".

The whole permit process is a joke. What kills me is that they are refusing permits! Only 108 were issued out of 8000 applications. You actually have to name the people sharing your car with you on the application. Does that mean that if you are pulled over with somebody in the car who is not on the certificate, you get a 5000 AED fine? I'm guessing so. There is a good read Here in the Gospel according to Mo

My suggestion? Can you take the application fees you got and paint some fucking lines on my roundabout so it doesn't end up like this (although the origin of the vid pretty much sums up why the driving is what it is here):

2 comments:

Naseem said...

loooooooooooooool RTA Asshole of the week hahahahaa... good one DD

and that Vid clip... is just awesome loooooooooooool

Reality Check said...

I stumbled across that gem of a clip ages ago, glad I remembered it. Pretty much sums up Dubai driving as well.