Great Article on Dubai Real Estate Agents

It has been said before and discussed to death. The past few years, Real Estate agents here have been more like order takers than sales people. You are not "selling" anything when buyers are lining up to purchase your wares. The marketing department did the job for you by wrapping the Gulfnews in the latest splashy Tower Du Jour. Seems of late these poor guys actually have to have some kung-fu and actually sell something. They might need to know what they are talking about to have a competitive edge, huh? This article doesn't pull any punches. It is amazing that some of these guys are resorting to sleezy used-car-salesman methods. Not the least bit surprising, having dealt with some of theses nitwits in the past! I like how the author goes to town on Better Homes, long considered a leader in the UAE real estate market. I'd like to share a vat of infidel juice with the author. I like his style. Another gem article from Arabian Business.com.

For those too lazy to click, here is the article:

Are estate agents the smartest guys in town?
by Anil Bhoyrul on Sunday, 22 March 2009

There are two schools of thought when it comes to estate agents. Either they are incredibly astute, sound, well informed and only interested in getting you the best deal going – or they are third rate shallow imbeciles who will sell their grandmother at the first available opportunity.

Which is it? In my search for a good property bargain over the past three months, I have been inundated with unsolicited calls from estate agents. Presumably word has got out on the street that “Bhoyrul is buying.” (or Bhoyrul is borrowing). As a result, they regularly pass vital market information on to me in “total confidence.”

Here are just a few recent lines.

“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but my boss's cousin works at HSBC. And they have been told that the market has already bottomed out, and in fact, prices in some parts of Dubai rose 12 percent in the past two weeks. This is triple A confidential. You really need to buy a property before the weekend or you will miss out.”

Really? I suggest the guys at HSBC get on the phone to the White House asap, as President Obama needs to get hold of this info right now.

How about this call I received yesterday. “I have a seller in the UK who wants 300,000 sterling. Now that works out, on today’s exchange rate of 5/1 at AED1.5m today. However, my uncle works at the Bank of England, and he told me – and please, don’t pass this on or I will get in serious trouble – that next week they are going to put the rate up at 7.5/1, which means the price will go up to AED2.25m. If you can complete the deal this weekend, you are saving yourself over AED700,000.”


Incredible! I had no idea the Bank of England sets the UAE exchange rate – again, I suggest Bank of England governor Mervyn King emails me at anil.bhoyrul@itp.comThis email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it , urgently, and I can pass on the estate agent’s contacts.

And let’s not forget the magnificent Ryan Mahoney, managing director of Better Homes, who suggested the market has turned because more people are visiting his website. Personally I think he’s a complete xxxxxx (use your imagination here).

So what is really happening? Could it just be, that after years of sitting by the phone taking sales orders in between eating Shawarmas, thousands of estate agents in the region have been struck by lightning.

They are having to make a sale, something they have never done before, and have no idea how to do. They will tell you nonsense, rubbish, or downright lies – take your pick. Or am I missing out on the deals of the century?