Sunday, March 29, 2009

Marnie Pearce Tragedy

I think we have all read about Marnie Pearce, the Brit lady charged with "adultery" after letting a guy use her computer, etc.

I have to say I have been a bit of a passive follower of this story, but only because the facts and the whole story are never printed. As you can read in the attached link, the asshole husband as well as the mistress' family confirms HE was screwing around. Regardless of who the cheater is/was, this story is so amazing, even Amnesty International considers Marnie Pearce a "prisoner of conscience".

What is shocking (maybe not) is the degree of cover-up or lack of publication of the facts. Very sad indeed, that authorities think it is better to jail a woman, separate her from her kids and ruin lives. All this while the beach-sex couple gain celebrity status and have their case dismissed. What the hell kind of world is this? These ridiculous laws and rulings are what is printed in countries with a free press. If the powers that be had an ounce of common sense and decency, they would think for a second what they are doing to their image.

Still from the video of kids being taken away.


Stories like this make me puke on my shoes. I could not even watch the 2 minute video past the one minute mark. Shame, shame, shame. This case LITERALLY means a man can have an affair, give the cops a few used rubbers and tell them it was his wife that did it.



Personally, I think the woman's story is 100% true and the prick she married should be hunted down. Good thing the UK papers printed then names and story, hopefully this dude's career will be ruined. You can sign the petition to have Marnie freed.

Here is the article, which BTW has been vetted by "real papers as well.


I just decided, he's this week's 'hole as well. And I forgot to include his picture and name. His little tartlet is in the pic as well...

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Great Article on Dubai Real Estate Agents


It has been said before and discussed to death. The past few years, Real Estate agents here have been more like order takers than sales people. You are not "selling" anything when buyers are lining up to purchase your wares. The marketing department did the job for you by wrapping the Gulfnews in the latest splashy Tower Du Jour. Seems of late these poor guys actually have to have some kung-fu and actually sell something. They might need to know what they are talking about to have a competitive edge, huh? This article doesn't pull any punches. It is amazing that some of these guys are resorting to sleezy used-car-salesman methods. Not the least bit surprising, having dealt with some of theses nitwits in the past! I like how the author goes to town on Better Homes, long considered a leader in the UAE real estate market. I'd like to share a vat of infidel juice with the author. I like his style. Another gem article from Arabian Business.com.

For those too lazy to click, here is the article:

Are estate agents the smartest guys in town?
by Anil Bhoyrul on Sunday, 22 March 2009

There are two schools of thought when it comes to estate agents. Either they are incredibly astute, sound, well informed and only interested in getting you the best deal going – or they are third rate shallow imbeciles who will sell their grandmother at the first available opportunity.

Which is it? In my search for a good property bargain over the past three months, I have been inundated with unsolicited calls from estate agents. Presumably word has got out on the street that “Bhoyrul is buying.” (or Bhoyrul is borrowing). As a result, they regularly pass vital market information on to me in “total confidence.”

Here are just a few recent lines.

“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but my boss's cousin works at HSBC. And they have been told that the market has already bottomed out, and in fact, prices in some parts of Dubai rose 12 percent in the past two weeks. This is triple A confidential. You really need to buy a property before the weekend or you will miss out.”

Really? I suggest the guys at HSBC get on the phone to the White House asap, as President Obama needs to get hold of this info right now.

How about this call I received yesterday. “I have a seller in the UK who wants 300,000 sterling. Now that works out, on today’s exchange rate of 5/1 at AED1.5m today. However, my uncle works at the Bank of England, and he told me – and please, don’t pass this on or I will get in serious trouble – that next week they are going to put the rate up at 7.5/1, which means the price will go up to AED2.25m. If you can complete the deal this weekend, you are saving yourself over AED700,000.”


Incredible! I had no idea the Bank of England sets the UAE exchange rate – again, I suggest Bank of England governor Mervyn King emails me at anil.bhoyrul@itp.comThis email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it , urgently, and I can pass on the estate agent’s contacts.

And let’s not forget the magnificent Ryan Mahoney, managing director of Better Homes, who suggested the market has turned because more people are visiting his website. Personally I think he’s a complete xxxxxx (use your imagination here).

So what is really happening? Could it just be, that after years of sitting by the phone taking sales orders in between eating Shawarmas, thousands of estate agents in the region have been struck by lightning.

They are having to make a sale, something they have never done before, and have no idea how to do. They will tell you nonsense, rubbish, or downright lies – take your pick. Or am I missing out on the deals of the century?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

NBD and Emirates Bank...nice try


You know, looking back, I see I bitch a lot about government institutions. It is not a conscious effort, it just happens. It is usually these institutions that cause us residents a great deal of stress. It drives me nuts, but that is the way it is. The point of this Blog is to "tell it like it is" to potential residents and expats coming here and help them avoid the pitfalls that come with moving here.

I will say for the record, if I can score a decent gig here in the coming weeks, I will be happy to stay here, conform and put up with all the bullshit associated with living in Dubai. I made a 3 year minimum commitment when arriving and I am happy to see it through, but these bastards need to come to the party as well.

It is no secret that expats from every corner of the globe have been taking off and leaving their debts behind. There is little recourse, as when your visa is canceled, you gotta go. If faced with being trapped here and potentially going to the clink or taking off and leaving behind your debt, I would chose the former.

Let's be realistic for a second. Dubai is quite the rumour mill. There is a new BS email circulated or a new BS "law" you hear about every day. It is viral here. Back to reality. Many people have lost their jobs and had visas canceled. That sucks. These same people need to leave the country within 30 days. They own cars, houses, have credit cards, etc. The rumour du jour is that you can't leave the country if you lose your job. You "hear" that you will be turned around at the airport. This is complete and utter crap. Garbage. Drek. Get real.

Just to clarify, I have left and returned since losing my gig, and I also know several other people that have. We all have loans of some sort and have had no issue. I wish people would use their heads and think about it. YES, if you bounce checks and have legal issues, you are in shit....but if you are paying your bills, have a positive bank balance and carry on, you're fine.

Question: "Can a foreign Government detain you for losing your job?" I think not. People own cars and houses here that are nowhere near paid off. Do you think if you lose your job, you are now a prisoner? How the hell can the bank possibly keep you from leaving if you are paying your bills on time and are leaving the country. They can't or I think you would see several thousand "guests of Mo." Also, jailed people have a tough time paying their bill, me thinks!.

Over the past (almost) 2 years I have banked with Emirates Bank, EBI, or NBD, not sure who they are this week. I got a call a few weeks ago from someone there (in addition to the weekly "would you like a retarded-interest-loan" call) They/she was wondering if I had a new salary certificate to deposit with them as there is not one on file. I informed her that I do not have a job, but my loan is being paid and is guaranteed, so what is the problem. She said "no problem, but perhaps I would like to pay off my loan". I told her no, that I was fine with status quo, and why would she ask me such a question. Her reply: "Just checking dear, have a nice day". What are they checking? That I am still here?

Last week there was a good one. For the record, I keep my money in my mattress, not in the bank. Banks go tits-up these days and I don't trust the bastards. I made a deposit on a Tuesday to cover my monthly expenses, and of course it did not get credited in time (a day late, even after spending 2.5 hours at the bank). I got the following text from some she-twit at "Emarits Bank":


I texted the following back to said she twit:


She called back, I tuned her in and have never heard back.

My take on it is that they are giving these banktards some sort of incentive to get expats to pay up (or see if they are even still here). That is all well and good, but stupid methods like this? Are you serious? Get lost you twits. Banks are not the ultimate authority here or in any other country. I assure you, both local readers and son-to-be-expats....the banks can blow it out their ass. Keep the bills paid, you will see no problem. Don't let them try you on, and there is nothing illegal about calling them on it. Jackoffs.

BTW.I am happy to supply this bank employee's number to anyone interested for verification.

Dubai Ministry of Labour..help them

The poor muffins. I think if they gave an award for the most useless piece of shit on the internet, it goes to the UAE MOL. Just a pile of steaming camel poo. As far as a self-service site....balls. Completely useless!
In no particular order:

1. Good luck finding the English link
2. If you find it, any forms are in Arabic
3. Most (if not all links are broken)
4. The maps do not enlarge=useless
5. No one answers the phone numbers given
6. Shittiest gov't self-help site on the net.

I was totally shocked. The e-portal should be functional and informative to reduce call and visit volume, would you not think? I guess they have covered all bases by (1)making the site so useless, you give up surfing, then decide to call, so (2) when you finally find the phone number after 30 minutes of surfing, they don't answer. After getting so annoyed you are "going to drive down there and do this in person"..the maps don't load and you can't see where the hell to go.

Not impressed, but so appropriate for here. I would give them a piece of my mind, but don't know how to get a hold of them. Yet another official agency appointed the AOTW. (I am seeing a trend here, sadly).

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I know..more coming

Sorry gang. Been a busy time fighting with CSI. Have some ideas for some topical posts. Check back later tonight. (watching some local dudes get shit-canned right now) Strongbow, tequila shots and mixed company. Infidels. (I am having an over priced coffee) What is awesome is they are speaking English for some reason!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Shout Out to Montenegro!

I am interested who is reading the blog. As mentioned before, Google Analytics is a powerful tool. You can see who visits, from where and how long, etc. Since the blog has been live, several hundred people per seek visit, but no one cares to comment. A blog can be interactive as well as helpful. As mentioned before, I frequent a local Dubai Expat Forum, a decent tool for advice whether visiting or considering a permanent move here.

I'd be curious to know what is on the reader's mind. I find it amazing that most South Africans read the blog from beginning to end, spending almost half an hour on average on the site. The next is Iran. Albeit only 5 unique visits, they spend an average of 15 minutes.

I am still considering a national tour in Malaysia. 97 unique visitors?!?! What are you learning? What do you need to know? What is the connection between Malaysia and Dubai?

Comments are open, readers. Chime in!



P.S. Montenegro....your board of tourism needs some marketing lessons. Those ads on CNN look like they were produced by a high school media class. Looks lovely, though.