Thursday, January 22, 2009

Hey, Habibi, here's another stupid idea we can't pull off!

Well, it's no secret that the braniacs that are in charge of dreaming up laws, regulations and "plans in general" are out to lunch when it comes to time lines. I mean, everything being built here in Dubai is delayed by years. There has been a great deal of concern over the Emirates Identity Card. Concern because no one is sure how to get one (EIDA's website would shit the bed whenever you filled in your PRE-application [whatever the fuck a PRE application is]), why we needed one (there is debate that it will be your labour card/e-gate/driving license) or why we would BOTHER getting one.

They gave an unrealistic timeline of processing 5 million people through a handful of EIDA centers. Published in the paper everyday we read "no extentions given", "fines if you don't get a card", "get off your ass and get our card". Many people panicked and camped out over night and then spent all day to apply for their pointless piece of plastic. Most expats just said "nahhhh", not doing it, too much hassle. I mean SERIOUSLY, only in this country do you go online to make an appointment, then have to queue for said appointment (get there early or they give your spot away), and then most likely need another visit as you did not know you need an anal probe and retinal scan BEFORE visiting. The 537 easy steps to getting your card are listed here:

Ministry of Useless Wallet Filler

We (or maybe just me) saw it coming a mile away:


Simple math tells you that you can't pull it off in the time given. The EIDA centres are manned by typical Dubai clerks with a real zest for "getting the job done", not to mention their command of the English language. (Still not sure who's friggin' name is on my driving license, but after 2 attempts I just left it). When the centres opened they were processing 140 applications a day PER CENTRE....isn't that an accomplishment! Wow, did you hurt yourself doing that? Just goes to show that even the people that "work" there don't know what the hell they are doing.

Here's the math: 26 centres X 140 applications a day = 3640 applications processed country-wide per work day

5,000,000 population / 3640 apps = 1374 work days to process the apps.

1374 work days = 4.57 YEARS to complete the process. Luckily, they have extended deadlines for EVERYONE, and told some groups not to even bother showing up for months. Now there is talk of them saying "never mind, bad idea, Emiratis ONLY need to have a card". Just let me know.

Oh wait.....I'll be long gone by then. Oh forgot the fucking driveway! These pics just sum up the thought process in this country. Nice building, snazzy sign, pretty parking lot, loooooove the barriers, and your choice of shade sails. I guess the Driveway Council of the UAE dropped the ball in this one! W-O-W.

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